I may or may not have a plate armor fetish. Indulge me.
Filming a rainbow when suddenly.
what the fuck
the gays are angry
the gays are angry
once i got very drunk in a bar and my mum had to pick me up so i was trying to act normal by keeping the conversation so i asked her if shes a virgin and she looked at me with pain in her eyes and said “i wish i was”
the cucumber saga
this guy was watching the vmas with me and now he’s educating himself how precious is that
he keeps asking me all these questions about aspects of feminism and he’s like “so basically it’s about letting women do what they want without being judged for it” and I was like yea and he was like “oh okay that’s so simple why isn’t everyone a feminist” it’s precious
update: I banged him
we drinkin good tonight!
so you gonna let me smash or what?
girl: only if you eat my ass
"Does she get drunk and ruin family parties?"
ΜΟΥ ΤΟ ΕΧΟΥΝ ΚΑΝΕΙ ΤΑ ΚΟΡΙΤΣΙΑ
the boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen
he sent me the meme
my son said he was ready
Anonymous said: What's the most illegal thing you ever did?
At Stanford there was this Professor who was a total bitch and she taught British Literature, which was cool. Except she taught only her opinions of the books and it didn’t help me as a writer. I went to school to learn new things to improve my craft, not have someone else’s opinions carved onto my forehead.
So anyway, for our final project, she asked us to write a ten page paper on why the color symbolism in Othello was so significant. I did some research and it turned out that she did her entire graduate thesis on this very subject. I was mad. This wasn’t teaching, this was boosting her ego. SO I wrote a ten page essay on why color symbolism in Othello wasn’t significant, satirizing it to the point of no return, saying that her opinion was an opinion and shouldn’t be taken seriously.
SHe failed me, needless to say. So in retaliation, I responded by baking a batch of brownies laced with weed and laxatives and delivered them myself to the professor hours before her big graduation speech. I told her that it was a peace offering, my way of apologizing and asking if I could do anything to fix my grade.
She refused to fix my grade.
In the end, she shit herself on stage.
I didn’t regret it.
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